Photography by Ricardo Simal
Sex marks the spot
Right palm on his package, his left paw on your boob. Yes, it’s easy to reach for the obvious. And it makes sense: these areas are packed with sensitive nerve endings. But science says the key to maxing your moan is not only knowing where your partner’s pleasure zones are, but how to touch them effectively. Different types of touch – be it delicate caresses, firm pressure or vibration – are more arousing for women on different erogenous zones, a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found. Your guy’s feather-light tickles may not register in one spot, but bold pressure there will have you squirming towards an O in seconds, says the study’s lead author, Dr Dany Cordeau. So study up on the most orgasmic hotspots, follow our tips and you’ll both be panting for more.
They’re deemed an erogenous zone because of their neural tenderness, notes a study in Plastic Surgical Nursing. Your dude can nibble your lobe and take it in his mouth – a move that can feel especially good if you have piercings, says sexologist Dr Carol Queen. Why? The piercing puncture disrupts nerves’ pathways to the brain, which can make it more sensitive.
Even a peck will ignite the brain’s passion centres and bolster emotional bonding, says research in the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour. Ask him to start with soft, faint kisses before he explores your mouth with his tongue.
This part has a high concentration of light-touch receptors, according to Cordeau, that go seriously gaga for smooches, gentle petting and even the tickle of your partner’s breath. Encourage him to rub, kiss, suck or lightly scratch the back of your neck, right below your hairline, which is an especially erotic spot, says Queen.
Light-to-medium pressure works well here, so “tell your man to suck your nipple,” says Dr Emily Morse, a sex and relationship expert and host of the Sex with Emily podcast. He can also activate the nipples’ temp-discerning nerves by first circling them with ice, then lightly drizzling them with warm wax from a soy-based candle, which has a lower melting temp and is less likely to burn skin, says Queen. The areola doesn’t have as many nerves as the nip, so subtle pinching can trump barely there strokes. Your partner can also squeeze, rub or cup your breasts to rev this zone. “Have him put a finger on each side of your nipple to add more feel-good pressure,” says Queen.
The super-vulnerable skin on the outer edge responds to light touch, like stroking and gentle vibration, Cordeau found. Meanwhile, the inner part prefers pressure and motion. Stimulation inside the vagina also releases the hormone oxytocin, which promotes a sense of sexual satisfaction. Have your man tease the opening of your vagina with one finger, then insert two lubricated digits inside you, curving them as he pushes in and out to increase the feeling of fullness.
Boasting millions of crowded nerve endings, it’s your most sensitive body part – so much so, you may not like it if your partner rushes there without warming you up first. Instead, get the blood flowing by asking him to rub you tenderly on the thighs or the belly before zeroing in on the C-spot, says Queen. Once you’re sufficiently turned on, medium pressure in a circular motion (using fingertips) or vibration (with a toy) at a fast speed are the best ways to fire up the clitoris, say Cordeau’s findings.
Beyond squeezing and spanking, a lot of women enjoy some form of anal play, says sex therapist Amie Harwick, author of The New Sex Bible for Women: The Complete Guide to Sexual Self-Awareness and Intimacy. The anus shares a wall with your clitoris, says Dr Elna Rudolph, clinical head of MySexualHealth.co.za, which may explain why it’s one of the major pleasure zones. But arousal and lube are essential first steps, says Morse. Tread slowly, with your partner using his fingers to circle the opening of your back door. Okay with that? He can insert one finger, graduating to two.
Looking for more ways to power your ‘Big O’ and hit those pleasure zones? Here are 10 sex positions that’ll stimulate your clitoris, plus a sexual cheat sheet that’ll help you achieve stronger orgasms.