“Comparison is the thief of joy.” We’ve all heard it. We’ve muted accounts, unfollowed people and told ourselves that we’re above it. And yet, somehow, it still manages to sneak in.
You open your app and see that old 5:30 per kilometre pace from what you now call your glory days. You scroll past someone else’s 10K personal best. You glance at your current stats and wonder how you’ll ever get back there. Maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll be stronger. Maybe you’ll be slower. Either way, that number does not define your fitness journey, even if it sometimes feels like it does.
On a recent social poll, we asked readers whether they had ever skipped logging a workout because it didn’t feel ‘good enough’. Nearly half – 47 percent – said yes. Not because they didn’t move. But because the movement didn’t measure up in their minds.
Fitness apps were designed to motivate us. They track our steps, pace, heart rate and streaks. They offer structure and feedback. For many women, they are empowering tools. For others, they become a source of pressure, comparison and self-doubt. The truth is, both experiences can exist at the same time.
To understand why these platforms can both inspire and undermine us, we spoke to counselling psychologist Dr Denise Bouah about comparison, identity, life transitions – and how to use data without letting it define your sense of self.
Meet the expert: Dr Denise Bouah, Counselling Psychologist, Author of Sport Psychology for Children, Director of Dr Queenie’s Chess Academy for Women and Girls and Woman International Master in Chess.
Why Do Fitness Apps Trigger Comparison?
When you commit to a fitness goal, it’s natural to want measurable progress. Tracking can be motivating and reassuring – many studies back this up. The challenge, however, arises when that tracking becomes comparative rather than informative.
“When you are on a fitness journey and have set some goals for yourself, you are likely to want to measure your progress,” says Dr Bouah. “If you are exposed to the progress reports from others through photo updates or performance metrics, you are likely to evaluate yourself against those individuals.”
She explains that comparison often becomes more intense when the people you encounter on your app feel similar to you in age, weight or build. In those moments, the metrics can feel deeply personal: ‘If she can do it, why can’t I?’
Even when we logically understand that everyone’s body, schedule and stress load are different, comparison is a very human response. The data makes it visible. The app makes it confronting.
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When Motivation Becomes Self-Doubt
It’s important to say this clearly: fitness apps are not inherently harmful. In many cases, they are genuinely helpful. WH has covered these benefits in many stories, and various studies have found that fitness tracking apps can contribute to long-term habit formation, increased exercise, better health and more.
“This can be a positive experience if you are focused on your own journey and use this type of data to encourage you to remain consistent,” says Dr Bouah. “Seeing others commit to their fitness journeys over time can be encouraging. It is a ‘because others can do it, I can too’ type of thinking.” That shared momentum can build confidence and accountability. However, the same exposure can become discouraging when effort does not produce the same visible results.
“It can also be detrimental if you are trying really hard but simply do not experience the results that others are having,” she explains. “This can be discouraging and lead to a drop in self-esteem and drive. It can make you think that there is something wrong with you.” That is often where the internal narrative shifts. The numbers stop feeling neutral. They begin to feel like judgement.
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Why Do We Tie Our Self-Worth To The Metrics?
For many women, fitness is more than exercise. It’s about becoming stronger, healthier and more confident. It represents commitment to yourself. That is why the feedback – from kudos to ‘close your ring!’ notifications – can feel so significant.
“A woman using a fitness app is likely on a journey to build and become the best version of herself,” says Dr Bouah. “She is working hard by putting in the effort to build a strong, healthy and fit body.” Because that journey carries emotional weight, the metrics can start to shape identity.
“Her sense of self can then easily be rooted in the feedback of performance metrics,” explains Dr Bouah, “because it tells her how she is doing in her process of becoming and maintaining a level of physical fitness that she acknowledges as sufficient in the way she sees herself as a healthy, confident woman.” When that happens, a slower pace or missed streak can feel like more than just data. It can feel personal.
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Navigating Fitness Through Different Seasons Of Life
Bodies change. Life changes. Capacity changes. “With change comes adaptation,” says Dr Bouah. Periods of intense work pressure can reduce training time. Injuries and illness can interrupt long-term goals abruptly, creating feelings of frustration, irritation or even helplessness. Emotional exhaustion can translate into physical fatigue.
“It is important for you to know yourself well so you can identify when there is a shift in your mood and emotions over time,” she says. “Being attentive to how you experience big changes in your life can help you navigate how you adapt mentally.”
As we move through different stages of life, including ageing, our expectations may need to shift too. What worked in your twenties may not work in your forties. That is not failure. It is physiology and circumstance.
“So be kind to yourself by being attentive to your changing circumstances and adapt your fitness journey so you can still maintain a level of physical health,” she says. Adaptation is not giving up. It is responding wisely to where you are.
Signs Your Fitness App May Be Affecting Your Mental Well-being
If your relationship with tracking begins to feel heavy rather than helpful, it’s worth pausing – despite what your fitness rings say.
Dr Bouah suggests watching for these patterns:
- Constant app checking and obsessive comparison
- Feeling negative or anxious every time you open the app
- Low self-esteem because there’s a feeling you’re not keeping up with others’ progress
- Your fitness journey no longer feels pleasant, and constant data checking ties into this
“There *is* a difference between healthy comparisons and obsession,” says Dr Bouah. “The information is meant to help you and give valuable information about your progress. It is not something that should make you feel overly anxious and develop low self-esteem.” If your workouts feel more performative than restorative, that may be a signal that something needs adjusting, not that you have failed.
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Expanding The Definition Of Progress
One of the most powerful mindset shifts is redefining what progress actually means. “Exercise is good for stress release,” says Dr Bouah, but “fitness apps do not measure how calm you remain in a stressful situation and how you respond verbally”.
She encourages women to informally track emotional and psychological changes alongside physical ones. How are you dealing with anxiety? What does your self-talk sound like? Are you developing a more positive outlook about your body? Are you gaining confidence because you’re realising that you’ve become physically stronger?
“Do not just stare at numbers on a screen,” she says. “Use that as part of your feedback, as you are also noticing the changes in your daily movement and emotions.” The numbers tell part of the story. But they don’t capture the full human experience.
READ MORE: Why Practicing Self-Efficacy Is Key To Becoming The Best Version Of Yourself
Using Fitness Apps As Tools, Not Scorecards
Ultimately, fitness apps are tools. They provide data and help you see patterns over time. “Fitness apps can be seen as good sources of information,” says Dr Bouah. “See it for what it is designed to do. It keeps track and gives you the bigger picture of what your fitness journey looks like over time.”
Your fitness journey, however, is personal. You live in your body every day. “Keep your own situation in mind by being reflective of why you might not have reached your physical goals for the day or week,” she says. “Just because someone else did her 10 000 steps for the day and you didn’t, doesn’t mean you failed.”
Bottom Line
Life happens. Work gets busy. Children get ill. Energy fluctuates. “[Fitness] is a lifelong journey, and that is why we need to be flexible in our approach to health,” says Dr Bouah. “Use the data that your app provides – and then remember that you are an individual with a unique body, lifestyle and circumstances who is taking care of her health as best she can. Embrace the human journey of it all.”
And if you are reading this and recognising yourself in these patterns, know this: you are not overthinking this. You are not weak. You are human. The goal is not to stop tracking. It is to ensure that the tracking serves you, not the other way around.
