Where did your sex drive go?
Low libido – has your sex desire vanished and now you’re wondering why? Lack of sex drive is a very common problem which affects both men and women.
Most often people have no idea what the cause is and how to change the situation. Here are 10 reasons that cause the passion to fade…
Certain medication can have a serious impact on your libido. For example, antidepressants will not only knock your libido but will make it really challenging to reach orgasm as well. Check the side effects of any medication with your doctor and see if there’s an alternative that has less effects.
Depending on your time of the month or how much testosterone (the hormone that drives libido) your body is producing, you’ll either want sex less or more. Very often women want more sex when they are ovulating, and people are generally more in the mood for sex first thing in the morning when testosterone peaks. Try having sex in the morning if you’re struggling to feel like it.
3. Lack Of Communication
It’s quite amazing that although everyone has sex, no one talks about it. One of the main reason your libido might not be what it used to be is because you’re not talking to your partner, or feel like you can’t talk to them, about what you want in bed. Sex should be an easy and open conversation – not something that is shameful and embarrassing.
4. Relationship Issues
If you’re unhappy in your relationship, you can always bet that sex won’t be on your priority list. Many people report that sex is actually a barometer for how they feel in the relationship. If you’re not happy and your libido has gone out the window, you need to talk to your partner and be honest with yourself.
5. Past Trauma
Very often, when someone has experienced trauma – sexual or otherwise – it can have a major impact on their libido. The memory of the trauma might prevent them from wanting to have sex, or leads to flashbacks when they have sex, meaning that they will avoid sex whenever they can. If this is what’s bothering you, get help from a psychologist.
6. Lack Of Confidence
If you’re not confident, you’re likely to avoid being sexual because you’ll be worried about how you are in bed, and if your partner might judge you. If confidence isn’t your strong point, ask your partner what you do that they like. It will help boost your confidence a bit knowing that you’re doing things that turn them on.
If there’s one way to knock your libido, it’s feeling pressure during sex. When we feel pressured, we struggle to enjoy the experience and often our ability to perform is affected. Stop focusing so much on what you think you should do and feel, and focus rather on what you are feeling and how much you might be enjoying it.
We’ve all heard that kids can kill our libido. They demand a lot of our time, often leaving us exhausted at the end of the day. They may also have an impact on our libido because we see our roles as changing from lover and partner to parent. It’s important to schedule quality time with your partner too.
One of the biggest influences on our libido is stress. The more tired and stressed you are, the less likely you are to want sex. You’ll probably want to work or sleep whenever you have a spare moment, and so sex becomes last on the priority list. Be kind to yourself (and your partner) and be patient. Life is stressful so there will be times things aren’t going exactly the way you want them to.
If you’re bored in bed – either with your partner or your sexual routine – it’s likely your libido will take a knock (or you’ll be interested in getting sex from elsewhere)! Talk to your partner about how your feeling and what you could do to change your routine up a bit.