We all masturbate – well, we should (hello health and bliss benefits in one explosive little package). But not all of us are getting it right. Follow these eight masturbation steps and you’re guaranteed to blow your own mind. Every. Time.
1. Invest In Quality Sheets
If you’re doing it on your bed – and by no means should that be the only place you do it – don’t neglect your sheets. Three-hundred thread-count sheets will make you feel special and nicer sheets hug your body in ways that starched cotton can’t. It’s also pretty chilly at the moment, so wrap yourself in an enormous warm blanket (check out the range of reasonable but deliciously snug shag-type rugs at Homechoice). Self-pleasure is all about pampering and little things can make a big difference.
2. Masturbation 101: Get In Tune
Music helps you break out of the quiet zone and can help you get into a groove, allowing you to free your mind so the rest will follow. Added bonus: if you use a vibrator while you play, music will quell any anxiety and alleviate fears that your roommates or family might be listening in. Try the Charlie Tango Classic Vibrator –Fifty Shades of Grey: it’s pretty easy on the budget (and you deserve it anyway!) for R469 at Desir.
3. Tap Into The Pleasure Of H2-Oh!
If you’re a bath kind of girl, getting into one before you get it on – or getting it on in one – can enhance your solo satisfaction. Add candles, lining them up along the tub, for extra atmosphere. A sudsy soak could also put your mind in a sensual space and your skin will feel and smell squeaky clean, which helps when you want to smother your body with self-love.
4. Don’t Forget To Breathe
Paying attention to your breathing can heighten your levels of arousal. In fact, the more you focus on your breathing, the more relaxed you’ll get, and the more relaxed you are, the more sensitive to touch you become. So focus on every breath you take and get into the zone.
5. Wet Is The Word
You’ll want to keep lube around, either water-based or silicone, or even that massage oil, so you can reduce any friction. Try the new Wicked Hybrid Silicone & Water-based Toy Friendly Lubricant from Desir. Dis-Chem also stocks the more budget-friendly Lover’s Plus Natural Lube.
6. Dress To Impress
We spend more time dressing up for other people than we ever do trying to turn ourselves on. Instead of ancient undies and a threadbare T-shirt, wear your favourite pair of panties and a matching bra (this She Bear bra from Choose Me is almost too sexy to resist), or a see-through top. This can help you feel beautiful, boost your selfesteem and get you visually excited and aroused.
7. Mix Things Up
How you position yourself can be just as important as what you decide to do in that position. Some women lie on their backs, some women lie on their stomachs, others lie on their sides (or curled up in a ball) and others sit up in a chair. Some women lie with their legs wider apart, some with their legs bent at the knees, others with their thighs pressed together and others with their legs flat on the bed, toes pointing out. A lot of women keep their legs together as it can increase the sensation of their orgasms. Any way you do it is the right way for you, so choose the position that feels good.
8. Let Your Mind Play Too
Fantasy is excellent fodder for masturbation. It’s also a way to test your boundaries. Fantasies don’t have to be overly descriptive to work – they can be one line that triggers an emotional response in your body. Just thinking about lying on the beach watching a hot guy play volleyball can take you to another place, or imagining how a lover touches your hand, face or other body parts might do it for you.
Excerpted from the book Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide To Masturbation by Jamye Waxman.