We share a bed with them, a pet, maybe even (in emergencies) a toothbrush. So why is it so challenging to talk to our partners about money?
If the thought of talking to your SO about rands and cents fills you with dread, you’re not alone.
Last year, research from Royal London found that three in five couples have argued about money, with 62% falling out over overspending. A quarter of respondents said they believe their partner is irresponsible with money. And a third admitted to keeping details of their savings and debts hidden from their partner.
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So How Can You Talk About Money In Relationships Without Arguing?
Financial therapist Simonne Gnessen told WH that having an open, honest conversation about money needn’t be fraught. It can even be made into something fun.
Simonne says that there is no reason why a conversation about finances can’t be approached from an almost playful standpoint. She suggests investing in a set of specific money conversation starter cards (like Habitudes) or finding a similar online resource. These tools will allow you and your partner to speak objectively about your approaches to spending, saving and earning.
She said: ‘If you’re kind of new to this, to talking about money together, this is a nice way in, it’s a conversation tool. You pull out the cards or read the statements and it allows you to explore scenarios such as, “I can’t imagine going shopping and not spending money”, or “I know exactly how much I’ve got in each of my accounts at any time”, or “if somebody asks for financial support, I will give it”, or “I’ll pay more for a brand name that others will recognise”.
‘You can see how these topics could lead to conflict. But approaching them in this way creates the dynamic of a conversation. And there’s no right or wrong, it’s all hypothetical.’
READ MORE: This 4-Step Personal Finance Cheatsheet Is So Simple Anyone Can Use It
But Who Could Benefit From This?
It’s not just a useful exercise for people getting to know each other or in the early stages of thinking about moving in together.
Simonne added: ‘You might be in an established relationship with somebody who is very secretive about money who has a “you earn your money, I earn mine” attitude but you share a joint account that is used for outgoings; or you might be in a situation where “I pay the rent and you pay the bills” and it’s working at the moment. But being able to speak up when it isn’t and get some clarity or ask for changes is really important.’
*Words: Emma Gritt
This article was originally published by Women’s Health UK