4 Practical (But Weird AF) Uses for Semen

by | Apr 11, 2016 | Sex & Love

By Korin Miller

It’s way more versatile than you’d think.

We’re guessing you probably don’t sit around wondering what kind of random ways you can play with semen. But, because the world is a weird place, we had a hunch that some people do. As it turns out, there have been some pretty strange projects involving man juice.

Here are the highlights, as well as an expert’s take on whether you could actually try these at home. (Though, ew.)

READ MORE: Guys share the hottest things women have done to their balls.

The Semen Facial

Beauty blogger Tracy Kiss claims that it helped heal her rosacea, combination skin and large pores. “I know there are no added chemicals, or harshness…it’s as natural as you can get,” says Kiss in her semen facial tutorial. She says she uses donated semen from a friend who “harvests” his semen on his own time, something she says he does naturally on a daily basis. Once the semen is harvested and put into a takeout container (like the kind for ketchup), he drops off the donation and she puts it on her face as soon as she can. Though, she says if you have a donor who can apply it directly to your face, that’s a great option too.

Get more TMI by watching her video below:

Should you try it? There aren’t many studies looking at the effects of slathering semen on your face in depth, and the semen needs to be tested for STDs because certain infections can get into your eyes and cause a lot of harm, says women’s health expert Jennifer Wider. Despite what Kiss claims, Wider says a semen facial will likely “not enhance your skin in any significant way.”

READ MORE: These are the top 3 reasons why guys fake orgasms.

Deer Splooge Beer

Late last year, a bar in New Zealand announced it was going to start selling “milked” stout, or a brew featuring deer spunk. The drink was just another sperm-laced drink featured at the Green Man Pub, according to stuff.co.nz. In 2011, apple-infused horse semen shots were the hottest thing and two years later they sold syringes of deer semen. Clearly, someone has got a taste for bodily fluids down under.

Should you try it? If you’re certain that the semen you’re dealing with is STD-free, Wider says, you’re probably OK to ingest it – provided you can stomach it. “Water makes up the majority of semen, but it also has protein, amino acids, zinc, calcium, vitamin C and sugar,” says Wider. “It is edible and gets digested in the same way other food does.” Er, in case you’re looking for a new smoothie recipe.

Paint by Orgasm

One German artist, Martin Von Ostrowski, painted an entire art exhibition with his own semen. A single painting required 30 to 50 ejaculations, according to the Schwules Museum, in case you were wondering.

Should you try it? We’re just gonna go ahead and make that decision for you. No, you should not.

READ MORE: How to tell if you’re capable of squirting in bed

Morning Sickness Meds

One behavioural neuroscientist believes that semen can help pregnant women who are suffering from morning sickness, according to Slate. Gordon Gallup believes that the more exposure a woman has to her partner’s semen pre-conception and in the early stages of pregnancy, the less likely her body will fight against the new DNA in her body (a.k.a. the baby-daddy’s genetic material). Hmm.

Should you try it? Although Gallup presented this finding at a legit meeting of the NorthEastern Evolutionary Psychology Society, says Wider, he only had anecdotal (see: unscientific) evidence to back up this claim. “I probably wouldn’t put it on my top 10 list of cures for morning sickness,” says Wider.

Bottom line: If creating things out of semen is your bag and it’s disease-free, you’re probably safe to do so. But if the idea of handling the stuff outside the bedroom makes you gag, you’re not missing anything by taking a pass.

Looking for more info on his junk? Here are 10 things you should never do to his crown jewels, plus this really common habit could actually be affecting your guys sperm.

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