Being confident is easier said than done. Whether it’s applying for a new job, approaching the cutie across the bar, or wearing a crop top – it all takes confidence.
Sure, when you’ve downed a couple of drinks you feel like you can take on the world, but what’s the key to building confidence – and remaining confident – without liquid courage? I sat down with Abigail, a self-proclaimed confidence crusader, to find out just what it takes to live that life.
Abigail, a photographer who specialises in female portraits, has helped countless women build their self-esteem by allowing them to view themselves differently. What’s really special about her work is that she wanted that feeling of confidence to last beyond the camera, so she created a course that would help women not only build up their confidence, but also make it everlasting.
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“Confidence is the key to determining how much input, influence and impact a woman has on her life and the lives of others,” says Abigail. Societal expectations place loads of pressure on us – telling us what to wear, how we should look, how to act. That needs to stop. You deserve to take control of your life and be the best, most confident version of yourself. You deserve to go after the things you want. But first you need that “I’m a badass” attitude. Here’s exactly how to get it.
1. Meditation
Slowing down to focus on your breathing and checking in with yourself allows you to determine exactly how you’re feeling. Once you know how you feel, you’ll know which emotions are helping you and which ones are holding you back. Pinpointing exactly what is making you feel a particular way helps you to understand what triggers negative feelings, and when to change them. So if an Instagram account is making you feel bad about your body, unfollow immediately.
2. Affirmations
Okay, so repeating things to yourself while looking in the mirror feels weird, but this trick totally works. “Positive affirmations help to re-train your mind to form the habit of defaulting to words and thoughts that are helpful, uplifting and empowering,” explains Abigail.
Through re-training your mind to think mainly positive thoughts, you start believing the positive words you’ve been saying to yourself. Give these a try: I can and I will. I am in charge of the way I feel and today I choose happiness. I am my own superhero. I will not compare myself to others. I am enough.
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3. Gratitude
By writing down the things you’re grateful for, you have something to look back on when days are hard. Also: You’re actively focusing on the good in your life, no matter how small. “And that makes you realise all the beauty and opportunities that surround you,” adds Abigail. Shifting your perspective from the negative to the positive allows you to tap into the good emotions that make you feel more confident.
4. Visualise
It’s time to bring that Pinterest board to life. By visualising who you want to be, the life you want and how it will feel when you achieve your dreams, you’ll come closer to knowing what actions you need to take to get there. Here confidence comes from knowing what you want.
Visualisation helps to make your aspirations more real – more attainable. So whether it’s your dream job or completing a fitness challenge, a constant reminder of your goal will give you the push you need to actually achieve it.
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5. Exercise
Besides the fact that it’s amazing for your body and mind, exercise is a gift. Be grateful for the ability to exercise – it’s something many people are not afforded, says Abigail. By exercising, we make ourselves feel more confident and prove to ourselves just how awesome we are. And remember: exercise isn’t just burpees and box jumps – it can be joining a dance class or giving boxing a try. Just find something that brings you joy and helps you appreciate your body.
6. Surround Yourself With Positivity
It’s vital that you surround yourself with people who have a positive impact on your life. But the people you surround yourself with aren’t limited to physical space and time – they can be anyone from Instagrammers to bloggers. Just make sure the content you’re consuming is motivating, uplifting and boosts your confidence.
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7. Practice Self-Compassion
It’s easy to get caught in the trap of perfection, but it’s important to realise that there is actually no such thing. The beauty of being human is that we are mistake-making, flawed, imperfect creatures, and that’s what makes us unique.
So take it easy on yourself. You are worthy of love, respect and kindness from those around you – but, most importantly, from yourself. Once we start embracing our ‘imperfections’, we can truly be confident.
Want more of Abigail’s tips? Check out her upcoming workshop. Now, go forth and strut your stuff girl!
