If you’re ready to unleash your wild wild west side in bed, there’s one sex position you need to add to your repertoire: reverse cowgirl. It’s unique, adventurous and downright hot. If you love being on top in the classic cowgirl position, riding your partner while facing away from them can be a fun way to spice things up while experiencing the same sensations you know and love.
As hot as the position is in theory, though, it may feel vulnerable to try if this is, indeed, your first rodeo. “Typically, the [person on top] is facing away from [their] partner – this can make it more or less psychologically comfortable for couples depending upon their relationship,” says Susan Kellogg-Spadt.
But if you tend to get in your head a bit during sex, turning away from your partner and focusing on the movements and pleasure may actually help. “[Reverse cowgirl] can be less intimate or intimidating because of the added distance between partners,” Kellogg-Spadt says. The position can even serve as a quick detour before you turn around to face each other again. (Or, if you’re feeling extra spicy, you can use it as the perfect excuse to easily slide into 69’ing. Yeehaw!)
Whether reverse cowgirl is the main event or just a quick stop on your sexploration, this position allows you and your partner to take the reins. Here’s how to do the reverse cowgirl position, why it feels darn tootin’ good, and how to get more comfortable in the, ahem, saddle, according to sex therapists.
Save A Horse, Ride Like A Reverse Cowgirl
If you know how to do regular cowgirl position (face your partner and straddle them with a knee on either side of their hips), then you know how to do reverse cowgirl.
All you have to do, in the words of Missy Elliot, is flip it and reverse it: Sit on top of your partner, facing their feet, then have your partner bend their legs or keep ‘em straight. Hold on tight to their knees or thighs and start moving up and down or grinding to find what feels good.
Need a visual aid? Here’s an illustration of what the reverse cowgirl position looks like:
The Perks Of Riding Your Partner Backwards
The reverse cowgirl position is a classic for a reason – actually, a few. Here are some benefits that make it worth trying:
1. It’s a power position.
Whether you crave being on top or prefer to lay back and enjoy the show, “the reverse cowgirl position can be a great way to experiment with power dynamics in the bedroom,” says Tara Suwinyattichaiporn. “You’re in a position of power – when you’re on top, you get to control the movements, the pace and the angle.”
If you’re used to having your partner behind you in doggy style, reverse cowgirl can give you an opportunity to switch things up and feel similar sensations from a more “dominant” position. You might also find it’s an ideal position for trying bondage, hair-pulling, spanking, sliding into face-sitting and other kinky sex ideas.
Reverse cowgirl can also help you switch things up if you and your partner tend to opt for the same positions over and over, says Nan Wise. “Playing with these different aspects of power play can be a way to help us get unstuck from our usual roles in bed,” she adds.
2. You both have control over the pace and intensity.
Reverse cowgirl also lets you and your partner control the tempo and depth of penetration. “You have a lot of leverage for moving and controlling the angle and movement of your pelvis,” Wise says. As for your partner, they can totally lay back and receive – or if they want to get in on the action, they can bend their knees and thrust.
3. There’s major visual appeal.
Reverse cowgirl also offers a super sexy view that is bound to turn you and your partner on. “It’s very visually appealing for your partner to see your back and butt from behind,” says Suwinyattichaiporn “It gives a sexy, mysterious feel.” Bonus points if you have a mirror nearby and can watch yourself for a major confidence boost!
4. It’s optimal for penetration.
For some folks, reverse cowgirl can help deepen penetration, making sex even more pleasurable since it stimulates your vaginal wall differently, says Suwinyattichaiporn. This position is A+ at reaching the A-spot – a vaginal erogenous zone that faces your belly button – which is located a bit deeper than the G-spot. Whether you’re enjoying P-in-V sex or using a toy or strap-on, there are many ways to explore deep penetration in reverse cowgirl and find what feels the best.
READ MORE: Exactly How To Engage All Of Your 5 Senses For Hotter Sex
5. It can also help with clitoral stimulation.
Whether you enjoy touching your clit during sex, having your partner tease you, or a mix of both, riding them in reverse may help enhance clitoral stimulation. “Reverse cowgirl provides direct access for easy clitoral stimulation either with a finger or a toy,” says Sara Sloan.
You may even find that it helps you both get more comfortable with masturbation during sex. “Some [people] can be shy touching themselves in front of their partner; others may feel ashamed to let their partner see [them] climax,” Sloan adds. “By facing away from [your partner], this allows for more emotional freedom and exploration.”
6. It may help you feel more empowered.
Even if you’re not into power play, you’ll likely feel a major confidence boost in this position, which can also help you let go of any pressure to perform. “It can feel empowering for women to be on top and facing away from their partner,” says Suwinyattichaiporn. “You can pay extra attention to the sensations in your body and the pleasure without watching each other’s faces.”
How To Make Reverse Cowgirl More Comfortable
Reverse cowgirl may help reduce endometriosis pain during sex, per Cleveland Clinic – but keep in mind that this position still requires some flexibility and coordination, so it’s important to be safe and make sure your body is supported. And, as with any position, it’s important to find what feels right for you and your partner. Here are some expert-approved tips for making the position more comfortable, accessible and most importantly, fun.
1. Use lube.
Before straddling your partner, you may want to grab some lube and make sure your body is ready for the ride. “I recommend using lube from the start of penetration to ensure a smooth and pleasurable experience throughout,” says Suwinyattichaiporn. “Apply lube on the penis (or strap-on) and/or the clitoris and vagina.” You can also reapply if/when you switch positions to ensure a smooth ride as the angles change.
Using lube during reverse cowgirl can also help provide relief from vaginal dryness, says Kellogg-Spadt. “This is especially important for women experiencing perimenopause or menopause, whose fluctuation in hormones can affect natural lubrication levels,” she explains.
READ MORE: The Best Lubes For (Almost) Every Type Of Sex Sesh
2. Use pillows for extra cushioning.
To make the position more comfortable and enjoyable, make use of those throw pillows on your bed (or treat yourself to a sex pillow) and get ready to feel a difference. “Sex pillows can help provide extra comfort and easier access to the reverse cowgirl position,” says Suwinyattichaiporn. “Your partner can lean up on a sex ramp pillow so they can get a full view and a better hold of your hips. You can also use sex pillow under your partner’s butt to give you an uplifted access for deeper penetration.”
Pro tip: If you’re on top, you can also add pillows under your knees for additional support.
3. Hold on to the headboard.
Let’s be honest: Riding your partner in reverse can be a workout, and having something stable to hold onto makes it easier. “If you’re on a bed, have your partner switch their head to the bottom of the bed and their feet on top of the bed so that you can ride them and use your hands to hold on to the bedpost,” says Suwinyattichaiporn.
4. Add a sex toy.
To spice up reverse cowgirl even more, and if you and your partner are both open to it, add a vibrator or sex toy into the mix for extra stimulation. “You can use a vibrator or your hand to play with your clitoris at the same time [as penetration],” says Suwinyattichaiporn.
If you enjoy anal play, you may want to ask your partner to tease you with anal sex toys while you ride. And if you’re into kinky sex, reverse cowgirl might even provide the perfect excuse for handcuffs and other BDSM toys, like a riding crop (wink).
READ MORE: Every Type Of Vibrator, Explained By Sex Experts
5. Try different angles and positions.
When exploring reverse cowgirl for the first time, Suwinyattichaiporn recommends trying different positions to find the sweet spot. “Try it straight-on first while grinding front and back, then see how that feels,” she says. “Maybe it feels good to lean toward the left or right, or maybe it feels good to go up and down.”
Experimenting with different variations is especially important if you deal with any sort of genital discomfort in cowgirl-esque positions, according to Kellogg-Spadt. For example, the on-top partner may not like sitting up straight in the reverse cowgirl position because of the way a penis or strap-on hits their cervix, but when they lean forward, it’s much more comfortable and enjoyable, she says.
6. Communicate openly with your partner.
In addition to the fun pillows, toys and thrill of testing different positions with your partner, healthy communication and consent should always be at the forefront of every sexperience. “You can communicate your likes and dislikes by saying, ‘Ooh, that feels good,’ or ‘Hmm, I need to move around a little to get in more comfortably,’” says Suwinyattichaiporn. You can also quickly check in with your partner by saying, “Do you like this?” or “How does this feel?” Moaning is another hot communication method to show your partner you’re enjoying it – and some research has found it adds to the experience, Suwinyattichaiporn says.
If there’s an angle, technique, or feeling you love, let your partner know – and be sure to listen to their needs and desires, too. Sex is always hotter when you’re both on the same page. Now, go ahead and enjoy the ride!
Meet the Experts: Susan Kellogg-Spadt, PhD, is the director of Female Sexual Medicine at the Center for Pelvic Medicine in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania and ambassador for women’s healthcare company Bonafide. Nan Wise, PhD, is a licensed psychotherapist, certified sex therapist, and author of Why Good Sex Matters. Sara Sloan, LMFT, CST, is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and owner of Austin Concierge Therapy. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, is a tenured professor of sexual communication at California State University in Fullerton and a sex and relationship coach at Luvbites.
This article by Caroline Shannon-Karasik, Emily Shiffer and Tianna Soto was originally published on Women’s Health US.
