Image from Freepik.com/javi-indy
Ready for some erotic foreplay?
On the list of life’s greatest pleasures, massages rank up there with wine and chocolate. But a good rubdown does more than just ease achy muscles. Depending on the technique, it can melt away stress, get you in the mood for sex, or function as an especially erotic kind of foreplay.
“Massage is the ultimate bonding experience,” says massage therapist Lisa Skye Carle. “Pampering each other feels nurturing and intimate, and you’re bound to discover loads of new and unexpected erogenous zones along the way – it’s the ultimate primer for sex.”
Whether you want to wind down or get all wound up, there’s a massage here to meet your needs.
Massage typically aims to engage as many senses as possible (which explains the standard-issue scented oil, flickering candlelight and soft music); but try blocking one of them out.
“Anytime you restrict one sense, the other four instantly become magnified to compensate,” says Shannon Delaporte, owner of Kink, an adult boutique in Cape Town.
Eliminate sight by wearing a blindfold while he rubs you down (or have him don one if you’re playing masseuse).
“When you can’t see, you don’t know what will happen next, which heightens excitement,” Delaporte says. Or block out sound by nixing the soft music and instituting a “no talking” rule. Taking a vow of silence and communicating solely through touch lets you focus completely on how you feel.
2. Hot and Cold
Alternating between warm and cool sensations can boost arousal. “The abrupt switch from one extreme to the other causes blood vessels in that area to expand and contract; this increases blood flow and makes the skin more receptive to touch,” Delaporte says.
Two things to keep in mind when you’re playing around with temperature: steer clear of sensitive, thin-skinned areas like lips, ears, the inside of the wrist, the back of the knee and the genital area; and always start with heat.
“It opens pores and touch receptors, priming your skin for pleasurable sensations,” says massage therapist Helen Hodgson, co-author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Sensual Massage.
First, chill some body lotion in the fridge for 30 minutes. Then dip a spoon in boiling water for 30 seconds (lightly touch the spoon with the back of your hand to make sure it’s hot but not scorching). Lie down and have your guy rub your breasts in small circles with the rounded side of the spoon, focusing on the skin above the nipple (an unsung erogenous zone), then have him massage the area with the cool cream. The combo of the warm and cool sensations will stir your libido. Then have him rub the hot spoon on your stomach, circling your belly button in a clockwise direction.
“Moving in the flow of your digestive tract – especially with heat – produces an amazing skin tingle,” says massage instructor Michelle Ebbin.
His turn! While he’s lying on his back, wipe down his lower half with a steamy wet towel (avoid his groin) and trace circles with an ice cube over his legs, inner thighs and hips. Now flip him over and rub his back with warm oil (just heat it in the microwave), then quickly blast him with a mini fan for head-to-toe goose bumps. Next, smear the warm oil onto his tailbone, pressing firmly with the palm of your hand . Finally, blow cool air where you just pressed – chills!
Sure, your hands are master massage tools, but other body parts can add a surprising twist to the experience. “Your body is composed of different shapes and textures, so massaging with those can elicit totally new responses,” Carle says.
“Forearms provide wider strokes, pointy elbows become kneading tools, and breasts and hair double as soft and sensual brushes.”
Lie on your stomach and have your guy dig his elbows into your butt in small circles and then use his muscular forearms to press on either side of your spine (avoid direct pressure on the spine – this can cause injury). Then part your legs so he can sit between them. He should apply lotion to the soles of his feet and slide them up and down the backs of your thighs.
When you’re doing the pampering, slather your boobs and stomach with body lotion and slide them up and down his back. Then turn him over and straddle him, dusting your hair across his chest to elicit shivers.
4. Tough and Tender
“Different types of pressure prevent the receiver from becoming desensitised to certain strokes,” Carle says.
“So mix up soft rubs with firmer ones to vary the intensity of sensation.” Lie face-down while he kneads your scalp with his fingers spread, moving in circles, slowly increasing the pressure. This area holds lots of tension, so you’ll feel a soothing release. Next, have him locate the area where your neck meets your skull and rub softly, then a bit harder – this is a little-known erogenous zone. Have him move down your body, switching between smooth strokes and firm pressure (especially on muscular areas like your legs).
To massage him, rub his back, increasing pressure as you move from his shoulders to the top of his butt. Then lightly tickle him with your fingertips (or a thin-toothed comb) to activate the “fine touch” nerves that sit near the skin’s surface. He’ll be putty in your hands.