Kids are oh-so adorable, but any parent will tell you (for free) that there comes a time when you wish your little ones could keep quiet for just five minutes to allow yourself to calm down. But in reality, they’re either crying because they need a nappy change, always asking questions, singing along too loudly to their favourite cartoons or asking you where their school socks are – all while you’re either preparing supper or tending to an urgent work request. And there’s a term for this phenomenon where your brain feels like it’s about to burst open from all these seemingly urgent demands. It’s called overstimulation. According to Henry Ford Health’s Dr Lisa MacLean, our brains can only handle doing one thing at a time.
“We overload and overstimulate our brains when we try to do too much at once,” she explains, adding that: “Chronic overstimulation can make you feel stressed out, burned out and unable to cope with stressors. Over time, it will impact your interactions with your family and your ability to do your job.” In addition, chronic overstimulation can suck the joy out of parenting, making it seem like you’re summiting Mount Kilimanjaro daily. Left unattended, chronic overstimulation can lead to anxiety, dissociation, outbursts or irritability, says clinical psychologist Sandra Papoutsis.
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Typically, getaways are meant to allow us to slow down and step away from life’s daily demands. But what happens when you don’t have the support of grandparents or siblings and are forced to travel with your cubs – or, if you just want to travel with your kids because you want to expose them to the world. According to the Family Travel Association (FTA), more than half of parents reported that they planned to travel with both their children and grandparents – a trend known as multi-generational travel. To avoid returning more flustered than you were when you left, we’ve compiled a few tips, courtesy of Papoutsis, to help you cope while on holiday with the bambinos.
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Tips For Coping When Travelling With Kids
Prioritise self-care.
Get enough rest before and during the trip, while also prioritising a balanced diet to maintain and support your energy levels. And where the overstimulation has reached dangerous levels, seek support from a family member or friend that you trust with your kids or consider therapy. Very NB to note is not to take care of everyone else while on holiday and end up neglecting yourself.
Plan Ahead.
Choose less crowded travel times by opting for early morning flights or less busy travel days/seasons to minimise sensory overload. Top tip: if you’re flying or driving with the kids, be sure to exhaust them beforehand so that they spend most of their travel time sleeping. Instead of packing your itinerary with a full day of activities, schedule quiet times during which you should retreat to peaceful spaces. And if you’re travelling with your partner, take turns with rest times. If staying at a resort with child-care facilities and nannies, be open to leaving the kids there for a few hours.
Is it really urgent?
Or, are you merely succumbing to your bad habits? Often when travelling with kids you may feel the need to rush to the airport, rush through security, rush to check into the hotel, rush to unpack, rush to go to the next activity, rush to dinner. If you find yourself feeling the need to hastily tick off items on your to-do list, stop to ask yourself if the rush warranted. If it’s not (and it probably isn’t), take a deep breath and slow down. Remember that the need to rush through things actually makes us more overstimulated (and potentially late!).
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Squeeze in some time for movement.
Plan for, and allow, downtime so that you can shift into a relaxed state, which in turn will allow you to connect with another. Relaxing doesn’t necessarily mean vegetating in the hotel room – if anything, that can be counterproductive. Consider pool time, lazing about the beach, long walks, hanging out next to a playground. Movement is necessary for regulating the nervous system. And a regulated nervous system is necessary for calm, joyful moments.
Involve kids in the planning process.
This is particularly important with tweens and teenagers as this will make them feel heard and they’re less likely to sulk on holiday if they’ve chosen and committed to an activity. It’s easy for forever-rushing parents to just drag your kids around without looping them in on what’s actually happening. The more children know, the more likely they are to behave. Inform your kids about the upcoming travel plans, even when you think that they’re too young to understand.
Pack light.
You’d honestly rather buy the other basics abroad (rand allowing of course), rather than dragging heavy luggage around. It is hard enough juggling small children in airports and on connecting public transport at the other end, so why make it harder by being overloaded with luggage? Opt for a hotel with washing facilities so you can do laundry at least once during a week-long holiday. This reduces the clothes you’ll need to pack.
