Simply put, oral sex is the act of stimulating your partner’s genitals with your lips, tongue and mouth. Sometimes part of foreplay and sometimes as a complete sexual experience in itself, oral sex is not something unusual or unheard of. For a sexual act that is relatively common and has been around for so long, it is still surrounded by myths and misconceptions.
Oral sex can cause a number of infections in women like herpes simplex, HPV infection, chlamydia, and so on. This makes it essential to understand the risks of oral sex to ensure your and your partner’s safety and well-being, advises Pretoria-based ob-gyn Dr Sebolelo Mojaki.
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Talk to your partner
Oral sex is not the first choice for many, making it imperative to discuss how you both feel about it. Remember that an intimate experience can be pleasurable only when you and your partner feel safe and comfortable. So, discuss how comfortable you are and how far you are willing to go. Starting slowly with gentle kissing or licking the genitals before full-on tongue penetration or using the throat will help them ease into the idea of oral sex.
What could go wrong?
Although oral sex does not result in pregnancy, it can cause STIs and other infections. The most common STIs include: Herpes, Hepatitis, HPV, Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Syphilis and HIV.
The most common STI symptoms include:
- Blisters or sores in and around the mouth or the genitals
- Unusual discharge from the genitals
- Rashes around the genital area
- Sore throat
- Pain while passing urine
- Lumps, warts, or unusual skin growth in the genital region
- Unusual vaginal bleeding between periods
- Pain during or after sex
- Pain in the lower abdomen
If you notice any of these, see a doctor immediately. If left untreated, “STDs and STIs can cause women to have pelvic inflammatory disease, which can lead to chronic pain in the pelvis,” says Dr Mojaki.
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Stay away from the slippery slope
Other common infections include urinary tract infections (UTIs) and yeast infections, both of which can be transmitted during oral sex. Dr Khemka adds, “Oral sex should be avoided during outbreaks of infection. Additionally, it is advisable to limit it to a single partner to minimise the spread of STIs.”
Protection and pleasure go hand-in-hand
Unless you and your partner have been screened and cleared for STIs, use condoms and dental dams to protect yourself. If you have multiple partners or participated in oral sex with someone new, it’s best to get yourself tested. Remember, most STIs are curable if caught in time. Oral sex should be avoided during outbreaks of infection. Additionally, it is advisable to limit it to a single partner to minimise the spread of STIs.
Get high when going down
After covering the potential risks and discussing the ways to counter them, let’s talk about some oral sex tips for a happy experience.
Remember, it’s different for everyone
Every vulva, anus, and penis looks, feels, and tastes different. When you decide to go down on someone or let someone use their mouth on you, don’t overthink how it looks as long as you feel good and comfortable. However, taking a shower before oral exploration and maintaining good hygiene is always a good idea.
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Ask (and say) what feels good
While it might sound odd, asking for or giving feedback about pressure, speed, and pleasure points is not as weird as you think. Remember, it takes two to make it fun and pleasurable. Just make sure you don’t turn it into a mid-year appraisal session!
Spice things up a bit
Sometimes, spicing things up with the use of sex toys and fingers during oral sex can help with lubrication, thus increasing the sense of pleasure. Don’t hesitate to express your desires while being mindful of your partner’s needs to make it an enjoyable and sexually satisfying experience for both.
