When it’s time to bump and grind, sometimes, you just want to hit it from behind. Yup, we’re talking about anal sex. Once a taboo sexual act, it’s become more and more common in the last decade. Why? Well, for starters, it’s enjoyable for givers and receivers. Physically, anal sex provides a different kind of fullness, while emotionally, it can be an intimate shared experience (especially if it’s both sexual partners’ first time).
Another major perk? Some women even experience full-on anal orgasms. “There are shared nerves from the anterior wall of the rectum to the vagina, so for vagina owners, it may be possible for sexual arousal to occur from rectal stimulation,” Dr Sheila Loanzon previously told Women’s Health. Plus, for men, anal stimulation triggers pleasure in the prostate area (that walnut-sized gland between the bladder and penis, sometimes referred to as the “male G-spot”).
“We all have an erogenous zone in our anuses,” says Rachel Needle, PsyD, a psychologist and sex therapist. That means we can all benefit from that erogenous zone being stimulated. In fact, orgasms – of any kind – can boost your mood, improve your quality of sleep and even increase immune function.
Wanna reap all those booty-ful benefits? Well, with the right anal sex positions added to your sexual repertoire (and a few pointers on how to prepare for and practice safe anal sex), you can back it up all the way to O-town.
For Beginners: Doggy Style
How to: The receiver gets on all fours and the giving partner enters them from behind. From here, either partner can stimulate the receiver’s nipples, clitoris and other erogenous zones with their hand or a toy for added pleasure.
Benefits: Doggy style is not only a classic anal sex position, but it’s one of the best options for beginners, says Needle, because it allows the receiving partner to stay in control. “Especially the first time you’re trying anal penetration, it’s good to be in control of your partner’s penis [or dildo], so you can guide it at a pace and pressure that you’re comfortable with,” she says. “Take your time getting it in because the lining of the anus is very sensitive. Pay attention to your body and stop if it’s too painful.”
Pro tip: The receiving partner can adjust the depth of penetration by tilting their hips and/or they can rock their hips back and forth to add some variety to the position.
READ MORE: 5 Things You ALWAYS Need To Do After Anal Sex
For Beginners: Spoon
How to: Both partners lie on their sides – with the giver behind the receiver – facing the same direction. The receiving partner can then bring their knees up slightly while the giving partner slides up behind the receiver’s pelvis and enters them from behind.
Benefits: Another of Needle’s top recommended positions for beginners, spooning ensures that the receiving partner is comfortable, helping their body – including their anal muscles – relax before penetration. It also allows the receiver to stay in control because they can reach back and guide their partner’s penis or dildo into their anus.
Pro tip: If the receiving partner has a vagina, they can easily use a hand or a toy to stimulate their clit and/or G-spot in this position, says Needle. “There are a lot of shared nerve endings between the walls of the vagina and the anus, so stimulating the vagina simultaneously can be extremely pleasurable.”
For Beginners: Lap Dance
How to: The giving partner sits on the edge of a bed or a chair. With their back to the giver, the receiver slides down on top of their lap, easing the giver’s penis or dildo into their anus.
Benefits: This position is perfect for people who are relatively new to anal sex because it’s easy to pull off (but still hot). Why? Because it allows the receiving partner to control the depth of penetration by how far down they sit onto the giving partner, Needle says. It also allows the receiver to adjust the pace of penetration to their comfort level, she adds, by how slowly or quickly they move up and down on their partner’s penis or dildo.
Pro tip: To spice up this position, the receiver can also reach their hands back and grab the penetrating partner for more physical contact. Either partner can also stimulate the receiver’s genitals and other erogenous zones, including the clit, nipples and inner thighs.
READ MORE: The 6 Best Lubricants For Anal Sex (Because We Know You Want To Know)
For Beginners: The Caboose
How to: The giver sits on the bed or a chair, with one leg straight and one knee bent. Then, the receiver backs themselves into their lap. Both partners spoon each other while seated.
Benefits: The receiving partner can control the depth and speed of penetration by how far they back up into the giving partner, says Needle. Not to mention, this position allows for a lot of skin-to-skin contact and partners can kiss to up the romance even more.
Pro tip: Either sexual partner can enhance this position by stimulating the receiver’s front genitals with their hand and/or a toy.
For Beginners: Corkscrew
How to: The receiver lies on the edge of a bed (or another comfortable flat surface), leaning on one side with their backside facing the giving partner. The giver stands beside the bed and begins to insert their penis or dildo in the receiver’s anus. The receiving partner can also lean back into the penis or dildo and swivel their hips to control the speed and motion of penetration.
Benefits: If you’re interested in trying a standing anal sex position that’s still fairly beginner-friendly, Corkscrew is a great choice. Not only can the receiver lie in a comfortable position on their side, but it’s also ideal for the giving partner to ease themselves in with shallow penetration. “Take it slow. Start with gentle movements, allowing the receiver to set the pace,” says Needle. “[This will] help relax the anal muscles, making it more comfortable.”
Pro tip: Try putting a pillow underneath the receiver’s neck and back or hips to change how this position feels. “Sometimes, just a small shift in the angle or depth can make a big difference in comfort,” says Needle. “All partners should kind of experiment with subtle adjustments to see what feels best.”
For Intermediate: Leaning Cowgirl
How to: The giving partner lies down face-up, while the receiving partner straddles them. Leaning forward, the receiver can then slowly slide themself down on the giver’s penis or dildo at their own pace. The receiving partner can also place both hands on the giving partner’s chest or shoulders for stability and intimacy.
Benefits: Any position where the receiver is on top allows them to have more control over the depth and speed of penetration. (Yeehaw to that!) That said, anal sex in the cowgirl position is a bit more advanced than other beginner-friendly positions, like Spoon or Corkscrew, simply because they allow the receiver to lie down and therefore be more comfortable.
But there’s another perk to this rear end rodeo: Just as with traditional cowgirl, it’s super easy for either partner to finger the receiver’s vagina or rub their clitoris.
Pro tip: The receiving partner should go slow and use the giving partner for support if needed. “It takes some muscle to be able to lower and not go all the way down in some of the other positions,” says Needle. “They could be very comfortable, especially once the entire penis or dildo is in, but if you’re trying to control the depth, it can be a little bit more challenging.”
And remember, there’s more than just up and down movement. The receiver can also rock back and forth to try another type of stimulation.
For Intermediate: Lying Doggy
How to: The receiving partner lies on their stomach and the giving partner lies directly on top of them, entering from behind.
Benefits: Lying Doggy “is a very comfortable position because you’re fully relaxed,” says Needle. It’s also a position where partners can – and should – work together to control the depth and pace of penetration. While the giver is “in more control” with this position, they should check in with the receiver about how much penetration feels good, she says.
Pro tip: If the receiver prefers shallow penetration, the giver should only insert the tip of their penis or dildo. “It’s also really enjoyable for the person penetrating because the tip is typically the most sensitive area of the penis,” Needle says. To increase sensation without deepening penetration, they can also wrap a hand around their shaft.
Plus, either partner can get handsy with the receiver. “You can also reach forward to simulate your clit if you want, or your partner can reach forward,” says Needle.
For Intermediate: Backdoor Missionary
How to: The receiver lies face up and the giver enters them from the missionary position. To control the depth of penetration, the receiving partner can keep their knees pressed against the giving partner’s side. The receiver can also put their hands on the giver’s chest for extra resistance. Another option: The receiver can place a pillow underneath their hips to angle the pelvis into a comfortable position for anal penetration.
Benefits: Anal sex positions are often a face-away-from-each-other kind of deal, but this one allows partners to share some sexy eye contact – with bangin’ benefits. “Facing your partner and making eye contact during sex can deepen emotional connection, enhance intimacy and foster trust,” says Needle. “Eye contact is a powerful form of nonverbal communication, so it helps you feel closer and more connected.” But the best bedroom bennie? “It can increase arousal because eye contact activates the sympathetic nervous system and can make the experience more intense and pleasurable,” says Needle.
Pro tip: Partners can also kiss a ton in this position and the giver can even stimulate the receiver’s nipples and other erogenous zones to increase intimacy and pleasure.
READ MORE: 101 Sex Tips That Will Have You Turned On For Days
For Intermediate: Reverse Cowgirl
How to: The giving partner lies on their back with their legs straight out. Then, the receiving partner straddles them backward and slides down onto the penis or dildo at their leisure. In this position, the giver can also stimulate the receiver’s clit (if they have one) for additional pleasure.
Benefits: It may be slightly challenging to pull off, but a huge perk of the reverse cowgirl position is that the receiver maintains control of the depth and speed of the penetration because they’re on top. Not only can they move up and down on the giver, but they can also rock their hips side to side to find the sensation that feels best for them. “Be open to trying different things if you’re comfortable,” says Needle.
Pro tip: Partners can incorporate ball and/or clitoral play into the mix for an added layer of stimulation.
For Intermediate: Backsided Lotus
How to: The penetrating partner sits on a bed or a couch with their legs crossed. The receiving partner climbs on top of their lap and then slides down onto the penis or dildo. The giver can hold the receiver’s hips and butt, while the receiver holds the giver’s shoulders or wraps their arms around their neck for increased closeness.
Benefits: Regular Lotus is touted as one of the most intimate and romantic sex positions there is. But the anal version takes that intimacy up a notch. Here, partners are as close to each other as possible and they can really hone in on that arousal-boosting eye contact. But that’s not the only perk of this position: “Looking in someone’s eyes during intimate moments can build trust, which helps with feeling comfortable and open,” says Needle.
Not to mention, this is another receiver-on-top position that allows them to control the speed and depth of the giver’s thrusts.
Pro tip: Penetration will likely feel pretty deep from this angle, so it’s best to go slow.
For Intermediate: Spork
How to: The receiving partner lies on their back, with one leg raised at a 90-degree angle. The giving partner then positions themselves between the receiver’s legs and enters their anus.
Benefits: The Spork is really, really hot for any kind of sex – there’s the intimate eye contact, the intertwined legs and the slightly twisted angle of penetration. Try it as an anal sex position and it might become your favourite – especially if the receiving partner incorporates some hand action. Here’s how: “In the Spork, the person penetrating is sort of in a more dominant position, but [the receiving person] can still control the depth of penetration,” says Needle. The receiver can wrap their hand around the shaft of their partner’s penis or dildo, guiding how much can go into their anus.
Pro tip: The receiver can use their hand to “clench hard” around the shaft of the penis, mimicking the tight feeling of anal penetration, which “can be really enjoyable”, Needle says.
For Advanced: Stand and Deliver
How to: Both partners stand facing forward, with the receiver in front of the giver. The receiving partner then bends over at the waist, while the giving partner enters them from behind. The giver can hold onto the receiver’s hips to provide stability, or they can grip the receiver’s wrists and hold them by the sides of the receiver’s body.
Benefits: If you consider yourself an anal aficionado, you might want to kick things up a notch by incorporating a little kink. This position is a gentle foray into BDSM because the receiver bends forward while the giver restrains their wrists (which can be done with just their hands).
Pro tip: With any sex position or act, but especially those that require one partner to be submissive in some way, shape, or form, communication is key. “Communicate with your partner (or partners) to make sure you’re on the same page,” says Needle. “And if you want to try a different angle or a different position, do that.”
READ MORE: What Is A Spit Kink? Sex Experts Explain The Fluid Sharing Practice That’s All Over Pop Culture
For Advanced: Full Throttle
How to: The receiving partner lies on their back, bringing their legs up to their shoulders in a V position. (The receiver can also hold their legs with their hands for more control.) With their arms braced on either side of the receiver’s body, the giver enters from above.
Benefits: If you and your partner love deep penetration, this (appropriately named) position is a must-try. Not only does the angle give the giver full entry into the anus, but the receiver is also in an ideal position to touch their own genitals for double the pleasure, says Needle. The result? A toe-curling feeling of total fullness.
Pro tip: The receiver can slide a sex pillow under their lower back to change the angle of penetration, which may make this position more comfortable and enjoyable.
For Advanced: The Snake
How to: The receiver starts kneeling, then leans forward and places their chest on a bed or another comfortable flat surface. Once the receiving partner is in position, the giving partner enters them from behind.
Benefits: If you and your partner(s) regularly engage in anal sex and have already mastered Lying Doggy, then you’ll really love this position. Having the receiver raise their hips will make the penetration feel deeper, while also allowing the receiver to reach under themselves and stimulate their clit (if they have one) with their hand or a toy.
Pro tip: For even deeper penetration, the giver can lean back and hold the receiver’s hips to pull them in closer.
For Advanced: Pile Driver
How to: The receiving partner lies on their back and brings their legs up over their head. (It’s helpful if that person is particularly flexible!) The receiver should try to get their butt as high in the air as possible before the giver lowers themselves onto the receiver. In this position, the giver can also lean down and stimulate the receiver’s genitals for added sensation.
Benefits: If you believe that more is more, the Pile Driver move is for you. “This position can be more intense because of the angle and the depth of penetration,” says Needle. “[The giving partner should] start with gentle, shallow thrusts, allowing the receiving partner to adjust and avoid discomfort.” You’ll also want to use a lot of lube in this position for obvious reasons.
And while the illustration shows the receiver’s hips fully vertical, feel free to tweak this position to suit you and your partner’s specific needs. “Make slight adjustments in angles. The top partner can adjust their stance or their height, while the bottom partner may slightly lower and tilt their hips to find the best angle,” says Needle.
Pro tip: Don’t let the name scare you, but just know you should stretch before trying this advanced anal sex position. “It does require significant flexibility and strength, especially from the partner on the bottom,” says Needle. “Don’t do it if you have injuries because this position places pressure on the neck, shoulder and back.” To help relieve some of that pressure and provide better stability and comfort for the receiving partner, she also suggests putting a pillow or cushion under the neck and shoulders.
And one last piece of sex advice: “Communicate about the pace, depth and pressure, and just make sure you’re all comfortable,” Needle says. “Take breaks if you need it.” (Always a good idea!)
How To Prepare For Anal Sex
Communicate
“With any kind of sexual activity, verbal communication is a must,” says Needle. “Talk to your partner or partners about your fears or desires for anal sex and continue to communicate when first trying anal sex. Let your partner know if it hurts, or if you’d like them to move more slowly or more quickly.” It’s really important that you feel comfortable talking to each other throughout every sexual experience, but especially new ones!
On that note, enthusiastic consent is always a sexual perquisite, so you should never feel pressure to engage in any type of anal play. “Remember that if you try it and you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again,” says Needle. “Some people don’t choose to try anal sex and some just don’t enjoy it once they try it, but both are okay.”
Focus on relaxation
If it’s your first time trying anal sex, spend a few minutes relaxing your mind and body, including your anal muscles, says Needle. Try this: Squeeze your butt muscles and hold them tight for several seconds or a few minutes, then release. That’s the relaxed feeling you want to have during anal sex.
Lather on the lube
“Use lots of lubrication because, unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t produce its own lubricant,” says Needle. “The more lube you use, the more comfortable and enjoyable anal sex can be.” She recommends using a water-based lubricant for anal sex because it won’t degrade a condom like a silicone-based lube would (more on that in a second). “Water-based lubes tend to dry out a little faster.”
READ MORE: The Best Lubes For (Almost) Every Type Of Sex Sesh
Experiment with anal play
“Before going right to anal sex, you may want to begin with a finger to become more comfortable with anal play,” says Needle. “Maybe even start by playing around the rim before going straight in.” You can also try a butt plug or a smaller dildo or vibrator (so long as it has a flared base) to work up to whatever size penis or strap-on your partner has, she adds.
How To Practice Safe Anal Sex
Whatever anal sex position you try, don’t skimp on safety! It’s a must to minimise risk of infection. For starters, “be sure to clean your genitals before and after engaging in anal sex,” says Needle. FYI: That doesn’t mean you need to anal douche (although you can if you want). “A shower, proper wiping, or anal-friendly wet wipe is adequate for cleaning the area,” Dr Evan Goldstein, DO, an anal surgeon and doctor specialising in anal care and the founder of Bespoke Surgical, previously told Women’s Health.
Another safety tip: “Don’t go from the anus to the vagina. It can lead to infection and complications,” says Needle. The same goes for your condoms – which, yes, the penetrating partner should wear during anal sex to decrease risk of infection. “Discard it and put a new one on if you’re going [from the anus] back to the vagina,” says Needle.
This article by Lindsay Geller was originally published on Women’s Health US.
